I don’t know how to start. I just had a moment. It was one of those moments that takes you somewhere else…
I turned on this song that hits me in the gut every time. I listen to it every year during the Christmas season.
This time it felt like I was in a movie scene. I felt like I was there. I could feel it. See it. And I started kind of dancing. Like a ballerina or maybe like a performer from a musical? I don’t know fuckin dances but anyway I started dancing. It was so flowy and fluid and it just felt so good to move my body. It felt good to dance… Something my body VERY often wants to do, but is most often rejected by another part of me. The part that holds me back. The part that relentlessly worries about how she looks.
Then, of course, I felt watched, then embarrassed, so I stopped. But I wanted to keep dancing.
So I reminded myself that no one has ever once been caught watching me how I fear and proceeded to fucking dance like an angel ballerina in an award winning performance.
So, TAKE A SEAT, PARANOIA.
suck it.
–
On another note, why is it so fun to envision ourselves in movie-like situations?
Or maybe just a much better situation?
You know what, I think we’re just creative and love to play… Or maybe I miss performing? Or maybe we are just never happy with where we’re at in the present moment so we dream…
M
P.S. the song is “celebrate me home”, by Kenny Loggins <3
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