The year I turn 30. The year my 20s ends.
It feels so crazy and I’m like what how have I not turned into the person I thought I’d be as an adult?
I thought Id be successful. together. smart. witty. Rich. famous. A movie star. Confident.
And I am versions of all of those things but not even close to what I expected. I’m also depressed, paranoid, lonely, jobless. Idk. I’m having so many thoughts it’s hard to pick some out to write.
I feel so lost. I don’t want to work for anyone. Anywhere. I can’t get myself to put up with social human/people bullshit. So many jobs take advantage of you or are degrading or have a narcissistic boss. I just think… hello we are here for one blink of an eye in the grand scheme of oh lets see the whole galaxy, universe, etc.
There is bigger, wayyy cooler shit going on here people helloooo and its fascinating and inspiring and wonderful but instead of being grateful and full of love we fight and kill and are so hateful and full of greed… I am done with humans. I don’t want to be a part of this society. It’s ugly. I want to love and sing and play and spend time with my man and my dog.
i want to enjoy my life. my way.